Party of One?

So, I usually get on here and write some super introspective post about religion, life, death, suffering, depression, or love. But anyone who knows me outside cyberspace knows I'm not always so serious. So, I'm gonna try to write more regular posts on a regular basis to reflect that. On to today's thoughts...

This weekend I came to the conclusion that I don't have any female friends. OK, that's a bold-faced lie. I have plenty of female friends. What I really mean is I don't have any female friends to hang out with. Being a professional person who went to a top 20 school and has other successful friends all over the nation is really cool until you actually want to go out and do something. I have lived in Atlanta and D.C. with brief detours in New York and Philadelphia. And I met some amazing people in all of those places, people that are some of my very best friends to this day. And I love that I have a Gchat list full of people to converse with and a phone full of people to text, but at the end of day, it's nice to have people to chill with in real life.

So how did I come to this conclusion? I got invited somewhere. This rarely happens to me unless it's someone's birthday. I was at home doing my hair wondering what I was gonna do with my Memorial Day and I got a message from a good friend inviting me to a pool party. Awesome! I now have something to do, I can get the barbeque I've been craving, I can reconnect with an old friend I haven't seen in years, and there might even be some cute boys. And he says I can invite some friends. Cool! I won't know anyone else there except for him and he will be busy hosting the party so I can use some company.

But wait. Who do I invite? The first person I think of is one of my friends from college whose birthday was this weekend who told me that she had no plans and wanted me to rescue her from her apartment because she's car-less. I call her. The phone is off, it goes straight to voicemail. I send a text. Then I decide to call my LS, she doesn't answer. I think of my other LS but she was in a wedding this weekend. Then I think, "This can't be life. Who do I usually go out with? I have more than three friends, right?" I do have more than three friends but I usually don't go out all that much, not to parties anyway. I go to dinners and movies and bowling but not really to social events and when I do it's with one of my male best friends or my LS doing maid of honor duties this weekend.

I decide to suck it up and go to the party alone. Guys always say they hate approaching packs of women anyway, right? I was very introverted at first, I even tweeted all my ATL linesisters to see what they were up to, but eventually I opened up and met some really cool folks. But this made me think, how do people handle moving back to an old city or a hometown? I think everyone sympathizes with folks who move to a new city and have to create a new social network out of whole cloth but what about those of us who move back home to find all our old friends gone or operating in whole new social circles. Time waits for no man. Of my high school crew, only two still live in Atlanta. Of my college crew, two still live in Atlanta. Then there's the issue of having different friends for different things. Of course, we all have best friends who we can do anything with but we (by we, I mean I) also have friends for different occasions. I'm kind of a conservative person, I like to go out and enjoy myself, but no one has ever mistaken me for a party girl, and I have pretty traditional values. Those values tend to coincide with maturity and, unfortunately, for some people maturity goes hand in hand with becoming a homebody That means I tend to have a lot of really great friends who never wanna go out the house, at least not to parties or social events. I have dinner friends, brunch friends, movie friends and bowling friends but no party friends. As a matter of fact, the LS that I called, called me while I was out at the pool party to see what I'd called about. I invited her to come join me but she she passed to chill at home.

So, I guess that leaves me trying to figure out how a grown woman meets new friends to go out with that also have good sense? That last part, good sense, is imperative and the primary reason I was selective with my going out in college. Sloppy drunk isn't cute on anybody, especially a lady. If you've got any suggestions put them in the comments.

Unfinished...

Here we go playing these games of pretend again,
living out verses of the Cardigans,
"Love me, love me, pretend that you love me."
But these games of pretend,
they only seemed to work when I thought you even had the capacity to be genuine.

Words that I sat vigil for over a thousand nights,
find my ear through hushed whispers from underneath a back room's dim lights.
I will my heart to shatter like glass into a million tiny pieces,
or hot tears to flow down my cheeks with the urgency of a river a dam releases.
Nothing.

I often find myself looking deep into your eyes,
searching, for what, I'm not sure, any reason to believe your lies?
When we are in love's embrace, I dutifully avoid your gaze
lest I sink deeper into this lovedrunk haze.

To Be Continued